Forget the title, i dont know either.
when we have visitors and I go downstairs to greet them, the conversation almost always goes like this.
visitor:Hey! You’ve Finished law school?
visitor:And you’re done with Nysc?
Me: yes ma/sir
Visitor:Ah its remaining husband o, he must be Igala o ah when will he come and greet us now?
visitor: don’t worry we are praying for you
The other day I went to church with my mum and the pastor said we should bring out our prayer points so he’d pray so I started writing mine and my mum leaned in and whispered (not really she doesn’t know how to whisper) “cho, what did you write? let me seeeee eeeeeeeettt, write good husband, what are you doing? i say write good husband eeeeh”. people around us just smiled at us and I wanted to disappear. sometimes I just want to scream:
CAN WE ALL JUST CALM DOWN.
Why the unnecessary pressure? Everywhere I go “so who are you dating? When is he coming to see us? Let us know o.” people, please calm down. Marriage is not the ultimate goal.
My mum got married when she was 19 and had me, her last child at 28. Pretty cool but that was back then. Things were much more easier and less complicated.besides, marriage is not something you just rush into. You have to be ready mentally and psychologically and no amount of books you read or movies you watch is enough to prepare you for the real deal. They are just there to guide you. Being married is not something that can be taught. You learn on the job. I love hanging out with folks that are older than me because I get to learn so much from them. They don’t expect me to talk much so it’s perfect for me. Some will say “marriage is hard. Marriage is this and that. But one thing is always constant. Maturity. Psychological and emotional maturity is so important. Most of them had to learn while they were married and the process was very difficult for them. Most of them wished they were more prepared and equipped to handle things. I am a very emotional person and I’ve had instances where I didn’t feel smart enough or good enough,horrible people, friends even that made me feel small, everything I’ve ever had to overcome emotionally has made me grow and I know that I need to be emotionally mature to a certain extent in order to succeed at anything.
Picking the right partner is even more important. Getting married to the right person is so important because even though you’d still have issues and all that comes with marriage, the right person makes it so much more easier. Now I know there are lots of jokes about girls being too picky but of course I’m not going to get married to the first person that asks just because he asked. I have certain expectations. I want to be able to respect my husband with ease. I want to be able to submit to him without struggle. I want to be in awe of my husband and there are certain personality traits and strengths a man has to possess to earn my respect. So yes. Ladies have to be picky. It’s the only choice we have seeing as we live in a time where douchebaggery is the norm.
I have goals. I want to affect my generation positively, I want to touch lives of people around me and I cannot do that by just snapping my fingers. I have to work hard for it because I know that although being a trophy wife would be amazing, I wouldn’t be happy doing just that. Different strokes for different folks though. For some, getting married is the ultimate,good for them. However,being single is not a disease. I have friends that endure the harsh and incredulously stupid things in their relationships just to make that wedding happen. Whatever suits you,just be happy, open and free and when you know you’re truly ready, not because you’re being pressured or because your friends are all getting married but when you know that it’s time…i wish you a happy married life.