2016… JOJO

GOALS

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Okpas ‘jojo

2016……what can I say

It seems like yesterday I wrote a piece about 2015

Bolt speed 2016… I just blinked and it’s the 31st day of December, 2016.

Despite the incredible speed of the year, a lot transpired. A lot made us sad and I must say, it seems like very few things made us thoroughly happy this year.

Yeah yeah, that was a rather bleak thing to say – forgetting the numerous blessings within the enigmatic 2016.

So let me tell you a bit about 2016 from my perspective

Well remember my excerpt from last year right? particularly facing the challenges of private practice in Nigeria. Well in line with that, I had to work and hustle like hell. I pushed myself to unimaginable limits. I had to inculcate a very annoying work ethic and of course (as predicted) I had little or no time for friends I would ordinarily have loved to see on a very regular basis. I hate this side of me and who I’m becoming. It’s true what they say, growing up sucks! (lol).

Anyway, I’m so grateful to God. There’s nothing I love better than having a schedule to go through on a daily basis. Truth is the greater the tasks, the sweeter the income (this quote is mine lol)

Hmm 2016…

I must say maturity is something 2016 brought my way. Patience, tolerance and understanding…I’m not saying I wasn’t my usual self sometimes exploding, especially in traffic (lol). I’m just saying, I guess when you get older, you start hearing that voice that says “yo, chill it’s not worth it” and just like that, I let it go no matter what. Hehe I remember one episode alongside Barr. Barth at the Life Camp Police Station (call me for the full gist lol) boy! I can ginger sha lol.

This confusing 2016…

Well I must speak about the losses within the year. Prince, Mohammed Ali and so many others. Wow 2016 took the icons and the normal. Syria, Nigeria, Paris, Germany are just a few names that really suffered at the hands of terrorism this year. Well, with God all things are possible. I actually tried to stop listening/watching the news this year.So much hate in the world.

Closing this chapter now, this piece is meant to be a happy one.

So my baby sister traveled for her masters this year. Mr. tough guy writing this couldn’t hold it in. He cried like an idiot at the airport. Hahaha I miss the little rascal so much. Thing is, we’ve always been a very closely knitted bunch in my family. We were raised to always do everything together and this is one exquisite attribute of my family so having our youngest, our baby so far away is really scary but again, God is involved.

  • A quote from one of our family portraits makes so much sense to me now

“one ship sails west, another sails east

Under the selfsame wind that blows

It’s not the gale

But the sail that decides where they go!”

Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year Chocho (talk to you later)

And yes……Uncle Tom Miachi. The perfect gentleman. May God continue to comfort the Miachi’s and my family. Looking at pictures of my Dad and Uncle Tom always puts a huge smile on my face despite the endless pain in my heart. It was painful three years ago, It was painful this year too. So my response? I wake up every day and work so hard in honor of their memories. (Kings forever in our hearts RIP Dad, RIP Uncle Tom).

Damn I’m already drained.

I think 2016 was quite dry and just as uninteresting as this piece of mine lol

Recession, bank restrictions etc  . A lot really killed the hopes of Nigerians but remembering all the negatives, I’m no fool. Amidst it all, more miracles were recorded this year. Personally,I traveled a lot this year and that is certainly no cheap miracle : Preservation, provision ,protection and promotion are just the least of the numerous miracles we all ought to be thankful for.

I hope you celebrated Christmas with love and compassion regardless of the economy and I hope you are enthused about the New Year.

Make wishes

Set goals

Have New Year resolutions please, it’s always been tradition to have those and I believe in them.

Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book, by all means, write a good one.

Be optimistic, take risks.

Spend more time with your parents, friends and entire family.

Pray, pray some more and pray a lot more!

Forgive and forget.

Dream and never give up

Remember that popular poem?

 

“Whether the weather be fine

Or whether the weather be not

Whether the weather be cold

Or whether the weather be hot

We’ll weather the weather

Whatever the weather

Whether we like it or not”

 

It is my prayer that we all get to do this again next year and I promise a better happier brighter piece

 

Happy New Year

And Godspeed.

 

 

Okpas ‘Jojo’ E

31-12-2016

11.27pm.

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2016… Edsensiq

AWAKENING

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2016 dealt a lot of blows to me. These past months have been an eye opener,  a teacher… I was forced to mature and grow even when I thought I had no more room to grow. I felt so much personal pain this year that I didn’t think I would end the year like this. This year I forgot how to be strong…

I work at a job that I love and hate at the same time. You can love something  but loving that thing becomes hard when you are forced to do it over and over. When you have no choice, few options, no freedom… I had to stay at this job because I did not have an option.  When you are young you think that the whole world is open to you, that you can be anything, anyone, go anywhere etc. you never even stop to think that there are factors that will stand in your way like money, family, love… life.  I have always wanted to be a traveler, world changer, writer, makeup artist, actress. Well, I am a mother of two now. I have these two wonderful girls depending on me for everything. I no longer have the luxury of dreams. I have to take care of their every need. As much as I love doing this, parts of me died everyday this year. I watched as everyday, another dream and wish melted away. I did not miss a single day at work this year, I consistently did my best at my job, trying to juggle being a mother, and being a staff, trying to fight back tears everyday and hold my tongue at my boss who can be difficult. 80% of my year consisted of me fighting back tears, sometimes letting them fall behind my palms, feeling sorry for myself and wishing for things to change.

Financially, the year was not as fruitful as I would have wanted.  My needs were many.The economy is in crises. Prices in the market doubled and then tripled. My income did not change. But God was faithful. We survived.

My relationship with my husband this year…In marriage there is hurt, betrayal, love, fulfillment, hate, disappointment, happiness etc. all rolled up in one. Your picture is made up of which of these things you choose to focus the most on. That’s marriage. Its not easy but at the end of the day Love and God continues to win, at the end of the day this is all I know: I love him so much and I feel his love for me, for our family and its like…its like an anchor.

I made very few new friends this year. I’m sure I also lost a lot of old ones. I didn’t give myself to people this year. I was shut in. I was not there for them. Attended very few events, did not call my friends as much, I avoided being seen too much. Not healthy at all.

I added so much weight this year because generally, I was unhappy. You see, my weight is a direct function of my feelings. Lol, I know I’m not alone in this regard.

I did not see my mum as much as I wanted to this year. Because I did not want her to see how much I was struggling.  Her radar for these things is  so strong. I wanted her to see a happy and fulfilled child so every time I saw her, it was with the biggest smile. But she knew. I know that she knew.

So far so grim right? well this is how I felt generally in 2016. This is all I carried with me in 2016 but no more.

I have the best siblings. Cho, went to Paris for school this year and I honestly felt like a part of me was shutting down.  I have always depended on her for a lot.  I see her running after her dreams and it make me so jealous but soooo proud at the same time. She just pushed herself and threw herself at the world and she is doing it well!!!.  I expect great things from this girl. Great things.

I woke up a couple of nights ago thinking that I cannot continue like this. I realize that my state of mind , even though it’s generally affected by the things that happen to me and around me, ultimately, I have the ability to choose. to be happy or unhappy, contented etc. I  have chosen.-

I will no longer just survive, but I will live. I will be happy at all costs. I will eat right and lose weight. I will work harder for my family. I will give myself a deadline and work at leaving my job. I will work on my mental health, improve on my qualifications, work on additional lines of income and most importantly , grow my relationship with God.

2017 will start with me shedding a lot of my beliefs and views on how things should be. I want to expand my thinking and let other views in. I will build new goals, dream new dreams, wish for things and work for them.  I still believe in myself. I have not given up on me yet. I never will.

So I wish all my friends and family the best of the year. I have been reminded of my strength and I know I have won 2017. Cheers.

2016… Ibingibo.

THANKFUL
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Wow!!! I really can’t believe 2016 is over. It seems just like a month ago I and B left church on the first at 1am after service and now it’s another year already.
A lot has happened in this year, so many things to be grateful for even those things that didn’t seem so great at the time. There’s a song that says “count your blessings, name them one by one”, and I feel like I should do so;
January – I left my comfort zone to England for my LLM despite the forex rate, and it was a scary experience (those who know me know I’m afraid of the unfamiliar).
February was eventful, March, April, May, June…so much happened but if I start typing I won’t stop (plus I have word count to meet up with in my course work)😥😥
In July I welcomed my first godchild, Tamunoemi my beautiful niece (after dealing with her mommy and scaring me silly).
Early August my big brother got married to the sweetest and kindest human.
That same August, B jokingly proposed in the most unromantic and unconventional way possible😂😂 by asking me to elope and do registry wedding. I laughed and warned him not to try me o!
September my godson was born, tweeny actually became someborrys mother!!🤗☺☺ shocking something o!
November I got married, the last thing on my to – do for list 2016😏😏2017 (maybe)…but I married my Ol’gee sooo😋😋😘
December 31st, after having a horrible experience I got the best news ever, my 3rd niece was born😍!!!!!
And somebody will now come and tell me God is not a kind and loving God. I’m sorry if I sound boastful but c’mon, this is just a few of the blessings of my family, not even my own personal blessings o!!! Haaaaaaaa!!!! I have a whole lot to be thankful for.
I’m not saying I didn’t have challenges, trust me I had my fair share but still God kept me, my family and those close to my heart through it all.
I have no resolutions for 2017, I’m just going to wing it😉😉 but I will be a better Christian, daughter, sister, wife, friend and human so help me God!!😇😇
I’m rounding up with my program, moving to a new city to start my life in my new home and I have no idea what to expect but hey, I had plans for 2016 and look how it all worked out better than I expected 👼.
This year I’m trusting God wholly and leaving all my negativity and fears of 2016 behind.
It can only get better😇😇
Happy new year!! 🎶🎶🍾🍾🍾
P/s: I didn’t meet my target goal weight in 2016😣😣 will get back on the wagon this year though*fingers crossed

2016… Chide Ochicky

HOPE…

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Where will I start or what should I say about the year 2016? I will say boldly that 2016 was a great teacher to me….. With practical life lessons for which my faithful God saw me through. The year was indeed Rosy with all its thorns and beauty. I had to learn that being an adult involves making important decisions and taking responsibility for your actions.

2016 saw me making a very critical decision about my career. It was also the year I learnt and had to practice important virtues like patience and hope. It is easy, when things are going well with us, to believe that no matter what, we can excel and overcome whatever may come our way but its only in difficult moments that you truly know how strong you are and this is what 2016 taught me well- my strength. I also came to understand what it truly means to have faith and depend totallyon God.

In all, this year I am grateful to God for the gift of family who stood by me throughout, the gifts of friends who helped me and encouraged me. I hope 2017 will teach me more about myself, help me grow personally and in God, and come with even greater blessings.

2016…CHICHI

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My year is not one that can be described in a word or two. One thing is certain though: I am not the same person I was last year.

CHANGE: My year began with a change of residence because I got a new job which I needed to report to within 48 hours in Lagos.

This change brought me lots of surprises;  I was relatively new in town. I needed to build more people management skills. The environment/culture was different from what I have been used to in my recent adult life. Learning how to live with my aunt and the family… their lifestyle was my first test. I think I did well though lol…my aunt might think otherwise.

WORK: At work, it was an entirely new experience as it was  a purely male team and I was the only female. Mixed with the a cultural theme, I learnt to improve my language. I learnt to be more humble, respectful and patient because I realized it takes more than your qualification to get the best out of people.  Most Importantly I became a better person. Some of the workers were amazed as they had a stereotype against the tribe I came from.

At the beginning of the second half, we had a case in court which meant some of our operations had to be put on hold-the salary as well. This only propelled me to double my hustle. I started working twice as hard, I learnt twice as hard, I networked twice as hard. In doing this I learnt and I grew, and like Robert kiyosaki  said, “I saw the benefit of not working for money.”  In the midst of not being paid, my brain opened up to other possibilities-new business opportunities. I even registered my business name. In a bid to learn more, I scouted the internet for free trainings and exhibitions. It was at one of the events that I met an exhibitor who become a mentor.Despite the pending the court case, the firm I work for has grown and is still growing, my network has grown and is still growing, I HAVE GROWN AND I’M STILL GROWING.

BUMPS: I have an ongoing certification exam.  I had to read on my own due to the inability to find a tutorial center, I didn’t pass the paper I entered for, but I am confident I will pass in January. Failure is painful though…

RELATIONSHIPS: Earlier in the year, I met a guy online. We both graduated from the same school…we agreed to date. After a while He kept comparing me with his Ex and another girl in his neighborhood. This made me feel depressed, like I was less of a woman. I decided to walk away and I am glad I did. Of course I was hurt, but then I began to read books and talk to friends and now I am more confident about my body and sexuality. I wear what I want and I have grown bigger than a myopic perception of one individual who was very wrong…sometimes all we need is the ability to just walk away. So yeah I had a ten month relationship…lol.

Talking about walking away, someone promised to give me a life changing deal, but for some reasons he felt my body should pay for it. I walked away from that too.

FAMILY: In October my mum had an accident that would have almost confined her to bed for life but God was faithful. He has perfecting her healing daily and didn’t make my siblings and I orphans this year. We needed funds for surgery and things became a little crazy but I was blessed. I was able to raise little funds because of the good networks and relationships I had built with people…Relationship is really everything.

2017: For the sake of time, I would have shared my Lagos Keke experience, plus my baptism into cinema visits, and my figure 8 craze, but I rest my case here. I look forward to walking away from lots of things in 2017, I look forward to being a better person, starting my business, breaking off toxic relationships and being more open to love.

The year came to a beautiful end as my mum can now walk, and sit by herself, full recovery still in process. This was my  greatest lesson of the year…MIRACLES DO EXIST!

My summary for the year, I CAME , I SAW AND I CONQUERED.

For Her…..

Hey you, I am very much alive.

Don’t be surprised…..
I am not the kind of girl who lives by the narratives of men.
I write my own narratives and I know that pisses you off like hell. Too bad.
I have been lost once…I fought many demons along the way. sex, drugs ,money,
eating disorders…YOU.
My essential self, you wanted to take that away from me, I almost erased myself.
I regressed further into myself taking all my cuts with me because
I felt it was the price to pay to find true passion.
You described me as a very polite, very young girl without a clue-
I am very polite and I’m young but you mistook my youth for naiveté
probably because of my tendency to care the old-fashioned way….with all of me.
For that I am not sorry.
You do not like women. You think you do but you don’t. This is because,
I have never heard you speak about a woman unless it’s about her physical attributes or sexuality.
I remember everything. Every conversation, every goddamn thing… I still feel.
I wanted to be mad at you. I wanted to unleash my crazy…..but I hold no anger against you. I have never been able to hold grudges in my life. I get angry and then I stop being angry, but it’s not that. I just realize that you do not deserve the “exquisiteness of my fury”. You may have loved me in your own way. but you were never able to unravel me. You disappoint me. You have so much more in you but that nagging disgusting habit you have that makes you compare yourself to your friends, to everybody, its making you rotten and Oh I have seen how rotten your Insides are.
You looked at me with pity because I didn’t fit the perfect projection you crafted in your mind. You thought I had Issues…Issues. I have no friends, just people I know and you made me feel like there was something wrong with me. No. I just want to be truly seen and understood.I refuse to miss-spend my youth wallowing in this mistake, any mistake. I believe that I can be loved in spite of my quirks, because of my quirks. You think I need a knight in shining Armour and you think I’m ruined. Me? ruined? I am stark raving mad but that’s ok. If the fact that I want to be passionate, I want to love with poetry and passion, I want a man worthy of my mind and my body,I want someone to be hungry for me for a change, If all that makes me mad then so be it. The buzz is there babe. The buzz is still there. That’s the thing about antiquated love. It wont be there forever though. I don’t intend for it to be there forever. that’s why I’m stepping back into myself….the cold you feel? that’s your loneliness… if any one needs saving, its you.
I am flesh and bones, fire and poetry, yes baby, I am alive.