I want to Marry you….oops!

I met this really awesome guy at work and a friendship I never wanted to have, become a relationship. I already told him I wasn’t ready to have him fall in love with me and he accepted which was really fine with me because I was in a ‘supposedly’ serious relationship. As we all know the heart does whatever it wants whether we accept it or not so this my very awesome friend fell in love with me. It’s a beautiful thing to be loved but it’s really uncomfortable when you don’t actually love that person and he wants to carry on as if you do, so I put him straight. But again after being close friends for a while he surprises me yet again by proposing to me with a ring and I’m shocked and confused because deep down I knew he would make a great husband only I didn’t love him then and he knew I was in a relationship. My thoughts were “how could he do this to me?” I don’t want to be that woman who rejects a man and then starts regretting later, so I took his ring and told him he would have to give me time to pray about it which he agreed to. This same period I had problems with my boyfriend and we separated but then I wasn’t still sure what to do about this my friends proposal, though I think I’d already started falling for him only for me to one day just run into a picture of a girl at his place and have him confessing to have started dating her since he hadn’t heard from me. we were best friends for crying out loud! We practically saw each other everyday at work and he couldn’t just tell me he was in a relationship already and maybe save me the trouble of falling for him?!! Did he by some reaction to a nuclear accident forget that he had proposed to me and I still had his ring?! I thought my heart would break into a million pieces after this but then with prayers and a strong-will I’d never possessed in my life, I totally got over him, pushed him aside and moved on.
My Love is too sure and real to be played with.

xxx
By Miss OLO

I Left…..

I LEFT
we would be four years come 22nd of June ‎2014.
4 yrs, countless breakups and makeups, drama, pain, love and laughter and I left.
No explanation, no quarrel .
I woke up that morning and had a light bulb moment, we could never be together: too much water under our bridge… him with his total lack of commitment and me with my family’s dislike for his total lack of commitment.
I woke up and‎ realised that I cringed at his touch, his kisses no longer gave me butterflies
we no longer had anything to talk about. ‎
We just liked the comfort of the bubble we had created, the bubble of convenience.‎
I deleted him from my BlackBerry and blocked his numbers, he wants an explanation but how can I tell him I’m tired? 
Tired of loving him too much.
 Tired of patiently waiting for him to keep his word.‎
Tired of waiting for him to finally surprise me.
Tired of feeling stupid. 
Just plain tired.‎
‎Am I really done this time?? Or is it just another breakup to makeup.
I’m scared though. scared of my future, scared of the adventure that comes with looking for love, scared I’ll end up old and alone but then again isn’t that what life is – an adventure.‎
4 years and I left, no reason, no explanation, I just left.
My love is too strong and pure to be wasted.
xxx
Only Fitting that the first in this series should be from my best friend. I love you sweetie #takingcontrol.