6-7 pm, 03/07/2016.
There are days when all I do is miss you
and regret all the things I did and didn’t do
And I resent her even more for the things that she put us through…
Maybe its misplaced but she said she hates me and my ugly face!
But still sometimes I really try to pretend that there’s even a semblance of a bond between us. I try to overlook how she looks at the gifts I get her and criticizes every thing I am associated with. I try to overlook how years of repressed hatred sip out once in a while and burn me, branding me unworthy, telling me that I have nothing good coming my way , telling me that I am not enough.
Well because of you ( Thank God) I know that I am not the bad words. I am enough. but I miss you because you were my champion. I was blissfully unaware of the cruelty of mankind and how easy it is to kill people with words. I’ve died a lot of times.
I dream of you sometimes. In most of them somehow you didn’t go back. or you were halfway there and you turned back. Am I holding you back? maybe you just moved two blocks away because of mid-life crises maybe I’m still in one very long ass dream…I hope this is a dream. Please say hi to you mother, brothers and sisters. Please try not to terrorize the villagers. since you wont come back I have to my own champ now.