Fact,Fiction and Friendship: Angel eyes.

wow. who is this girl? she seems so nice I’m going to ask her to be my friend. Ndidi. that’s how we became friends. we shared her bed and my locker and it was great. just two twelve-year olds having fun and dealing with “eloho” together. our nemesis that year,but sometimes good things come to an end and it did. we had a fight about something…i’m sure it was very silly but then we weren’t friends anymore. we still talked but…

this story is not about that though. it’s about Chioma and Ndidi and I….so two years later we had grown up a little and those two had become great friends. I met chioma the previous year and liked her instantly. I didn’t know she liked me back until she ran to hug me when I came back late to school one time…we didn’t hug though because she fell and sprained her wrist. she’s a fireball that one. 🙂
so yeah…back to the story…I didn’t have a seatmate and both didn’t even have seats in our new class so I figured we could share mine till they find theirs….they never did but I was cool with that. God we had fun. uncle bennet, sidi and baroka,archie comics and the importance of telling the truth because chioma the investigator would find out. Always!….and there were times we each had our ‘scandals’ in school and looking back, it was nice to have someone who was on your side regardless of how they felt about your recent “fuck up”. The James ebute incident? after receiving my punishment I went back to those two and cried, then I went to my room with my brave face I mean,after all I was known for my ability to “chest- one prep night, I had foolishly gone in place of Alasia to go and get ‘punished’ by “p.o damisa” and smiled while my fingers throbbed with pain. This guy would deal with you till all the blood cleared from that area and your skin became slightly transparent for a few minutes. I kid you not. After prep that night, I couldnt even take my clothes off. I just went to bed quietly and slept off the pain.I was a foolish child then. lol.
so we move on to the next year and this year….this was the year I got to know chioma really well. we got into serious trouble together,she was the one I would run to when I had ‘gist’,she had a witch for a school mother and we were all obligated to provide dinner for some seniors or face death each and every night.The dinning hall prefect became our best friend he just had to oh and our friends who came to seek assylum in our room. hanny and soty…we had fun that year. we formed a clique just because we wanted one. Chioma, Ndidi and I, then we invited some girls to join and the main purpose of the clique was to eat food. it was glorious. untill the night we ate Ndidi’s food she was furious. anyway, the others kinda left the clique for one reason or the other and it was just us three left. then Ndidi and chioma had a fight. I don’t even know what it was about but I knew it was not forever. Those two loved themselves to bits. It was valentines and I got a cute kitten. I am terrified of cats but I had to pretend because word could travel fast back then. I would keep it in my bed and kick it out after lights out and my friend, chioma would help me carry it to class and it would climb all over her buxom body and all the boys would drool and wish they were the kitten. oh also there was a senior who was crazy about cats so she would take it and it would be with her for daaays. I took it home for mid-term and my mother gave it away…norix was its name. what kind of name is norix anyway? then I broke up with my boyfriend and rumours started going around and it was pretty shitty. There was even one that said Chioma and I were lesbian lovers. hahahahaha. Ndidi had her own problems, she used to like a certain short dude but he was just doing anyhow…The seniors in her room were little witches but we all got through that stage…Ndidi is a very brave girl I mean, so many horrible things people would say to her but she was still so strong and confident and she was blossoming, slowly but it was happening…
Then along came poko and my friend Chioma was gone in the brain. literally. like we would tease her about his head and she would just have this silly grin on her face it was terrible to watch but also so sweet at the same time. terrible because he was a year ahead of us and well that rarely ever worked did it? but sweet because she was in luuuuurrrrrvvvvv…. that was a roller coaster year for each of us. and that was also the year of the ass for Ndidi. her ass that is. damn. 😀
Chioma came with her phone to school which was pretty awesome till one scally wag snitched. everybody warned Chioma but nooooo she wants to be friendly,she likes her, bladi bla bla. well there you go….

visiting days,punishments,laughter, tears and a broken bottle of Chioma’s favourite perfume, our last year together came around.we had watched our classmates steal each others boyfriends and stab eachother in the back poko had left school, Ndidi had long since moved on from the short boy debacle and all other rubbish the other kids were spewing and I was single like a pringle. life was pretty normal until the letter. that letter served as the beginning of the boys vs girls war and we all just couldn’t wait to leave school… then I almost had a fight with Eloho because she told chioma she could not bathe in the bathroom because she just had it cleaned. I was on the way to the bathroom myself and I said how can you tell us not to bathe so we went ahead. let me just say this, I was pretty sure the girl was going to beat me black and blue. I mean..we were scared of that girl. she was strong and mean. Anyway Eloho came to clean out my teeth and fleece my skin but she just yelled and yelled and threatened till she left. ( Thank you master Jesus) I almost peed my pants. Chioma laughed at me through out that day. oh my God how can I forget Sotonye’s great bathroom fall?!!! we were hiding in the toilets because we didnt want to go out for labour like seven or eight of us. so we started to tip toe out to check if the officers had gone then Sotonye slipped, danced,danced,danced and finally fell on the floor it was hilarious and I started laughing. The other girls thought I was being mean so I tried to stop laughing. we helped Soty up but we had to hide again because the officers were back. after a while we were tiptoeing out again and then Sotonye slipped again! This time it was simply glorious and the other girls couldn’t help it. It was just too funny. It wasnt funny later when Soty’s body started hurting but lord. hahahahaha…..we had lots of moments together…great and not so great moments….Chioma,Ndidi and I.
.. then the great big fight about nothing. I and Chioma just stopped talking and it was annoying and painful but we still joined our bunks together every night.hahaha. at least she ended that stupid quarell with Ndidi and they became best friends again…we picked our friendship right back after school but then life happened…school, distance, we havent seen each other in years but we will soon,hopefully
..Ndidi is a budding OAP..Chioma is an entrepreneur and I became a Lawyer 😀 …I have the best memories with those girls, I love them with all my heart. we all have a piece of each other with us wherever we are, wherever we go….Old friends are truly Golden.

xxxx

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I have to keep on Living….

One of the mails I received. A few things have been tweaked to protect the lady’s Identity but here it is:

I have to just keep on living….I don’t know what else to do. I have considered suicide to just end it all but I’m not brave enough. I have struggled with this guilt since I was like six. I had this uncle who came some weekends from Halifax and he would bring us lots of candy and sometimes toys. My parents trusted him. What they didn’t know was that he would take me to his room and abuse me sexually. He never actually did ‘it’. He would just touch me for a while and that was it. I never told anybody because…..because I enjoyed it. I felt..wanted. because I enjoyed it I felt so guilty. I felt like God didn’t love me anymore even after I gave my life to him a million times over. I was a kid I just wanted people to like me especially God. So any time they did the altar thing, I would rush out. Almost every Sunday. This continued for years till we had to move to Canada because poppa got a job there. By this time I had become so quiet and shy and withdrawn everybody thought that was just how I was. But I remember being so…alive. My parents had had issues before we moved and I know she didn’t mean to but my mum neglected me a bit. I would go to school with dirty clothes, my hair so dirty and old you could see the mould on it. I knew this because I always wanted my uniform to be as shiny and the other girls…I started ironing my clothes myself and doing everything myself just to feel like a pretty shiny student. My grades didn’t suffer much though because I somehow had a very good memory especially in science class. It must have been that right because I did my homework myself sometimes copying my friends answers…and through all this my mum would blame me for being so dirty when she had time to bathe me. like what did she expect I was a kid bathing myself unsupervised of course I’m not always going to wash behind my ears properly. She would scrub me till it hurt and I would start crying…I remember I used to have some brown in my underpants and she would call me and scream that why are they brown? I guess she didn’t really know how to handle it. The guilt. I kept on wondering why I had that kind of discharge and why I wasn’t like all the other normal kids and why my shoulders were too broad and why my legs where not so straight. I was 9 -10 years old by this time and I already felt so ugly. Then I started wanting boys to want me. I thought If somebody could just want me, I will be fine. The person won’t regret it because I would give them my everything and more. All this while,through high school, I was known as a good girl because I never partied, did drugs or had sex. It’s not like I didn’t want to do all those things but I had read a lot of books by then to know the importance of waiting. I used to read a lot of inappropriate books back then….nobody cared what I read but I loved to read. I would pick up newspapers, dirty magazines anything and just read. My dad gave me my first real book but he was not around enough for that to occur often. I would never forget that book. I never quite understood it but I felt like my dad expected me to read so I did and I never stopped reading after that. That’s a good thing I suppose. Anyway I got into college trailing my past behind me and just managing to stay that quiet good girl…I almost got raped one time. I followed a guy I had just met back to his apartment and he locked the doors and said “I paid for your groceries didn’t I?” I screamed and struggled till his neighbor came and banged on the door. He kept on banging till he opened the door. He told his neighbour he was just teaching me a lesson because I tried to steal his money. He ordered me to clean the mess I created and I started cleaning and his neighbour asked me to leave that he would do it. I will never forget that guy. I never saw him again but I still pray for him sometimes when I remember and I hope he has all his hearts desires. I couldn’t go to the police because that guy threatened me and told me he knew guys down at the station. I was too scared to think I just ran home. I met a friend on the way and he kept asking me why I looked so dirty and where I was coming from then he said “oooooo avery you’ve been naughty huh?” with a twinkle in his eye. I got home and met my friends and gave them one bullshit story about how I tripped and fell into a ditch. I cried myself to sleep that night. I stopped going to class because I had bruises everywhere and I was just tired. Somehow I started living again. I even fell in love one time and it was beautiful. ‘He was the wrong one but he loved me right’. I felt wanted again. I felt good about myself. I felt beautiful and I felt intelligent. He was perfect. But not every perfect is your perfect. I’m glad I met him. He helped me heal. He helped me grow. He helped me to be truly happy. Then my parents died. My mum had been battling cancer for some years and I guess her death broke my dad because he died a few months later. That period of my life was shit. I had long since broken up with my boyfriend and my friends were nice enough to call me but I was all alone for the most part…I couldn’t really cry till a few months after. I was in a cab and it just came rushing at me. I cried the whole way like really cried. And I didn’t know but the cab driver kept driving round my block till I finally calmed down then he took me home and wouldn’t take any money. Then he said “don’t worry madam,it will get better. Pain only gets worse if you try to resist. It will get better after a while ” then he left. And he was right…the pain is now a dull ache….i feel like I’ve lost my bearings but I just have to keep going, keep living. I believe I will be fine one day…that one day will come as long as I keep breathing. I just decided to write to you because ut feels good talking to a complete stranger you might never see in this life. You can put this up to give women like me hope. Thank you.