Hi, I am cho. Can I write about you?
Do you test fate? Do you step on the gas pedal a little harder because you don’t know how to calm your depression?
Do you sometimes wonder whats the point of everything? Do you sometimes question God?
Are you angry with God?
A few years ago I knew of change but not of this kind.
Have you noticed that children no longer come out to play again? I remember running around with kids in the neighborhood till late but now the world is not that safe anymore. We don’t trust ourselves anymore so now the kids remain inside and all the games that were passed on to us are gradually dying with us.
Sometimes when I can’t write the pain away, it pours into my soul feeling me with so much grey- Damn I really need to talk to you.
Have you noticed how she has a new dark side? My God you used to adore her but how did she get so insensitive to others people’s pain?. How is it so easy for her to point, leg deep in a pool of oil at someone else in a pool of their own and laugh while they go through hell? and when you call her out she brushes it off because she doesn’t care that the ripple she has caused will stop at someone’s feet and unleash pain that is best forgotten?
When are you going to poke the watery glass in your eyes and let it rain?
I have learned the hard way that if I have to cry, I have to take it outside. That there is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them. That even though you are breaking to pieces inside you have to master the art of smiling through it.
You know what’s going on today, the impending war, your loved ones terminal illness, the sorry state of your bank account and the loneliness of your heart. The way your siblings challenge your love, the way you lose friends like a pin on the floor. You have already started seeing the symptoms of low blood sugar or high blood pressure. You’re not sure but there is something wrong.
Do you feel sad to know that you live among the most insensitive scum of the earth that blame unemployed youth for their own death because they were desperate for employment “sorry mister scum I won’t try to make something of myself because you see. I died trying to do that.” or the ones that will say “yes she deserved to be raped because of whatever stupid flimsy reason.
I have been running on reserve for the past five months but I know that even when winning is Illogical, losing is far from optional.
You can let fire burn you or you can let it purify you.