Madam Isi’s Beauty shop.

Hmmm. Aausa people no good. That time wey I dey karu, my son just come, see blood for im head. na my neighbour son carry stone knack am o. I just rush am go hospital, them clean the wound, Bandage the head. As I dey reach house I see that my neighbour son for road. Na so I carry stone Knack am for I’m head too. See blood everywhere. I run enter house naim im mother come dey shout. See fight that day. The woman son say na play dem them dey play. Hmmm no carry my pikin play o


You ready?

“Oh. Yes. Yes. God. Right there. Ugh. To the left. Slowly Right there. Right there…right…no no no don’t stop. ..
.. *sigh* I love getting my hair washed….


“Madam welcome”
Ehen. Where is oyinye? She still hasn’t come to work? See. You people are here o when I start shouting it would be like I’m being wicked. She is not ready to work. Hello aunty what style do you want to make?……

“Ah suzy long time ooo. Haaayyy cash madam. See your bag. You’re leaving already? Hope my girls didn’t give you wahaala o
Okay then take care.”

See that girl who just left here? She finished secondary school and refused to write jamb because one man has been deceiving her…her mother has not seen her this year. from one man’s house to another. One woman came here to beat her and told her to leave her husband alone. They will soon pour her acid on her one day.
“Ozy! I’ve told you I don’t want to be seeing hair on the floor. As soon as you’re done sweep it up. You just want me to shout on you before you rest. Nonsense.”

Madame! Madame! I see aunty blessing for outside. E be like say she enter dem bassey dia shop.
Ha! That’s good. She will see pepper today. Aunty please I’ll be right back. This woman has been owing me since.


“Ozy, where oyinye dey na?
Hmmm, My sister you know that day wey we close around 10 wey I say I no go fit go my house make I follow oyinye go her house? As we dey go that man wey dey come drop madam come stop for us say make im help us. I no even know the time wey e collect oyinye number. Na one day wey she say she no fit come work say she dey sick, after work I go her house naim I jam two of them for dia o.
“Haaaaaaa!!! Ozy! Haaaaaaaaay”
Hmmm Nkechi abeg you too shout. Abeg no put me for trouble o”
Ehen. All that her new jeems and phone wey she buy say na her elder brother wey come from abroad. Na the man ooo…hmm Oyinye get mind..she tell me say..shhhhhh! Madam don come.

“Stupid girl! Pay me my money o this one I did today is small. Nonsense.” aunty please don’t be angry. Some people just want you to behave like a mad person before they will pay you your money……

Aunty your hair is fine!
Thank you. Madam how much?..

.ok bye.


N.B. Lots of my friends say they love salons because of stories like this. This I can tolerate. I’d prefer it if they were quiet but that’s an almost Impossible thing in these parts. It’s the ones that try to chat with you that annoy me. Like I’m there to just relax and have my hair or nails done not tell you my life history. *sigh* toodles.


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