Annoying shit people do (1)

I don’t know why we just give ourselves unnecessary headaches in this life. Life is really easy when Satan is not throwing shit at us…not throwing big shit at least because that One cannot rest. life is really easy…learn to chill. Just chill.

You no dey hear word?

You no dey hear word?

why would you see somebody you know somewhere,you didn’t say hi neither did the person and you go and start talking about how the person acted like they didn’t even know you and shit. You that you know the person why didn’t you say hi? You think it’s only you that can complain? Do you know if the person thinks YOU were the one acting up? Must everything turn to quarrel?

-I know some girls will have my neck for this but, Why would you accept gifts from guys you know you have no intention of dating? Is it fair? Instead of you to tell the poor boy to go you’re not interested you’d be saying…”let me think about it”…”Err please just give me time” Abeg shut up. Girls. We know as soon as we see a guy whether or not we would date him and this has nothing, Absolutely nothing to do with any emotional yamayama we are going through at the moment. Example. you just got your heart-broken, lost someone very dear to you, you take shit everyday from idiots, your emotional state is a mess but still, you know that you can never date mallam B because of one reason or the other or because you just cant so it’s really easy. repeat to yourself: I will not take the gifts mallam B gives me in hopes that I’d change my mind, from him unless I make it clear to him that I’m absolutely NEVER EVER going to date him and he decides to be a generous Joe anyway. It’s that simple. Don’t string people along!

-can I Live?

-For gossake.stop assuming things. Don’t go and conclude on stuff you are not sure about. When in doubt, ask questions. nobody will kill you. And you will be able to make decisions based on facts not speculations.

-Stop being so darn judgmental. You don’t know what demons and battles people have to face. You are not perfect yourself so stop judging or judge anyway and keep the verdict to yourself we can do without more venom in this world.

-We, the people of earth, the association of actual human beings, (TAAHB) do hereby implore aliens from the planet of “hack and spit” TO PLEASE STOP. please that behavior is simply not tolerated here on earth. Stop it before we kill you. Just stop it. We would like to take walks without coming across your stupid ‘igodomigodo’ ( I don’t know what that word means I learnt it from my crs teacher).

-Don’t call someone or add someone up and when the person asks who you are, you start behaving like a ram. Here is an example: I got a request on bbm from one Don Polo. I don’t know who don polo is. I’m thinking ‘should I or should I not add the person? I eventually do and this is the conversation that followed;
Don polo: PING!!! Hello.
Me: hi. please may I know who this is?
Don polo: ah!(surprise smiley) you don’t know don polo? (sad smiley)
Me: (a little irritated), sorry no i don’t. *smiling smiley*
Don polo: haha am good o I had to flash my phone. so whats up?
Me: nothing
Don polo: anything fun happening around you?
ME: No
Don Polo: really?
Me: sorry but I hope you realize that this conversation will go nowhere because I don’t know who you are?
Don polo: ahn ahn i”m don polo now.
Me; OK. goodbye don polo
Don polo: wait. Send me your picture. why goodbye now?
Me: send you my picture? please I don’t feel Safe chatting with you and you are being very annoying.
Don polo: ehn! na you dey carry bbm for your head now. do what you want.
Me: goodbye don polo. * deletes don polo*

I don’t know how don polo thinks but those are the kind of things I have no patience for. This goes for those that will call you and when you ask, “please who am I speaking with?” they’d start a long and tiring monologue to guilt trip you. Most of the time they turn out to be people who really shouldn’t have your number or even call you in the first place. If you just say who you are,your guilt trip that follows would be much less annoying.

for now.


Cho and the bane of the belief in the singularity of all singles.

Forget the title, i dont know either.

when we have visitors and I go downstairs to greet them, the conversation almost always goes like this.
visitor:Hey! You’ve Finished law school?
Me:yes ma/sir.
visitor:And you’re done with Nysc?
Me: yes ma/sir
Visitor:Ah its remaining husband o, he must be Igala o ah when will he come and greet us now?
visitor: don’t worry we are praying for you
The other day I went to church with my mum and the pastor said we should bring out our prayer points so he’d pray so I started writing mine and my mum leaned in and whispered (not really she doesn’t know how to whisper) “cho, what did you write? let me seeeee eeeeeeeettt, write good husband, what are you doing? i say write good husband eeeeh”. people around us just smiled at us and I wanted to disappear. sometimes I just want to scream:
Why the unnecessary pressure? Everywhere I go “so who are you dating? When is he coming to see us? Let us know o.” people, please calm down. Marriage is not the ultimate goal.
My mum got married when she was 19 and had me, her last child at 28. Pretty cool but that was back then. Things were much more easier and less complicated.besides, marriage is not something you just rush into. You have to be ready mentally and psychologically and no amount of books you read or movies you watch is enough to prepare you for the real deal. They are just there to guide you. Being married is not something that can be taught. You learn on the job. I love hanging out with folks that are older than me because I get to learn so much from them. They don’t expect me to talk much so it’s perfect for me. Some will say “marriage is hard. Marriage is this and that. But one thing is always constant. Maturity. Psychological and emotional maturity is so important. Most of them had to learn while they were married and the process was very difficult for them. Most of them wished they were more prepared and equipped to handle things. I am a very emotional person and I’ve had instances where I didn’t feel smart enough or good enough,horrible people, friends even that made me feel small, everything I’ve ever had to overcome emotionally has made me grow and I know that I need to be emotionally mature to a certain extent in order to succeed at anything.
Picking the right partner is even more important. Getting married to the right person is so important because even though you’d still have issues and all that comes with marriage, the right person makes it so much more easier. Now I know there are lots of jokes about girls being too picky but of course I’m not going to get married to the first person that asks just because he asked. I have certain expectations. I want to be able to respect my husband with ease. I want to be able to submit to him without struggle. I want to be in awe of my husband and there are certain personality traits and strengths a man has to possess to earn my respect. So yes. Ladies have to be picky. It’s the only choice we have seeing as we live in a time where douchebaggery is the norm.
I have goals. I want to affect my generation positively, I want to touch lives of people around me and I cannot do that by just snapping my fingers. I have to work hard for it because I know that although being a trophy wife would be amazing, I wouldn’t be happy doing just that. Different strokes for different folks though. For some, getting married is the ultimate,good for them. However,being single is not a disease. I have friends that endure the harsh and incredulously stupid things in their relationships just to make that wedding happen. Whatever suits you,just be happy, open and free and when you know you’re truly ready, not because you’re being pressured or because your friends are all getting married but when you know that it’s time…i wish you a happy married life.

The Mummy.

“Who sat and watched my infant head when sleeping on my cradle bed and tears of sweet affection shed,My mother”

We all love that poem. It perfectly describes a mothers love for her children.. what it does not tell us is that good mothers are not fun people. At least not all the time. The process of ‘sitting and watching ‘ our big heads is not an easy one because as kids it’s like our default button is set on self-destruction. It takes the constant, painful sweet devotion of mothers to reset our brains and set us straight. I am not a mother yet so I do not fully understand the sacrifices and pressure and difficulty that goes into raising a child but I have a little idea and as little as it is, it’s amazing. It’s so amazing.
Yes I Know God planned you and sent you to your mummy’s womb because he has a purpose for you and all but what if your mummy decided, ” look. I cannot. I just can’t. I don’t need all the stretch marks,saggy boobs,saggy and expanded hooha,and all the other changes she had to go through or sacrifices she had to make.
you will never know how it feels when your child is seriously ill and you just watch helplessly because there is nothing you can do. unless you have a child and you’ve gone through that. I remember when my niece was seven months or so and she fell ill. she stopped eating,stopped playing, she became so weak..on the morning before my sister took her to the hospital, she looked terrible. she couldn’t even cry. she looked like she was going to die. we were both thinking it, my sister and I, but none of us could say it out loud. we got on our knees and prayed and cried for her.I was so scared but I know it was nothing compared to how my sister was feeling. Thank God for healing. Now imagine mothers with autistic kids, kids with cancer and other serious illnesses. the helplessness is terrifying.
Single Mothers. see its God that is behind single mothers because i don’t know how one person can carry the burden of raising a child alone. Then mothers that raise five, six or more on their own, go on to have great careers and all the children doing well… if I get pregnant today…man.
Most of us come from homes where our parents were always having constant issues but your mother chose to stay because of you. she felt, if she moved out the man would get married to another woman who will give birth to her own kids or who already has her own kids and you guys would not get the best treatment from her or your father. criticize all you want but she felt staying was the best decision to make for you. I know most people would argue and say its better for the parents to separate instead of putting the kids through all that emotional hell but when it comes to making decisions, you make them putting your kids first and any decision made, whether good or bad was made out of love so shut up.
That party she doesn’t want you to go to, that friend she doesn’t like…..she is right. Now we are older, we know. If i didn’t listen to my mother or if I wasn’t scared of what she would do to me if i did certain things, i know how I would have turned out. I would have turned out exactly like that my friend she didn’t like. of course they are not always right but most times they are. My mum was not too strict with me. she let me go out, she made sure she knew who my friends were….. she made sure i knew my limit.
Prayers. most of us don’t even pray anymore. like serious 5-10 minutes every morning with God kinda prayer. Our mothers are the behind the scenes, talking to God for us, bringing our silly asses before God. this is another act of selflessness. why would i pray for somebody that doesn’t even want to acknowledge the fact that there are spiritual battles going on for his sake?
I could go on and on and on and on. my God,the love. the undying, constant, unconditional love. Obama has power,world leaders have power, mothers? they are power. They rock. we love you guys.

P.S this post is not so named because of the movie but that’s what my little niece says when she is looking for her mum. ” where is the mummy?” lol.